Year Of The Crab


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    We only made 25 of these beauties. Continuing the crab invasion horror movie poster/Morecombe and Wise theme.

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  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 8 NOW ZERO releases available on Bandcamp and save 10%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Curate's Teeth, Show Me Your Other Face, Then Zero, Dead Popstars EP, Perfectly Mistaken, The Emotions of Normal People, Year Of The Crab, and RELEASE. , and , .

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released July 27, 2016

Windmill – Vocals, Bass, Keyboards, Programming, Guitar (2,6,7,9)
Sylvester O’Sullivan – Guitar, Backing Vocals (13)
Christine Walsh – Backing Vocals (8)
Produced by Windmill
Additional Engineering BL Underwood
Recorded at Toad Hall 2010
Cover Design by Windmill
Photography Simon Meader, Christine Walsh, Windmill



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Named after the JG Ballard short story about an author who can literally write a death sentence.

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Track Name: Yourself Happier
Your dream home in Florida
You got it for a song
Then the dollar took a tumble
Well I guess you got that wrong
Isn’t it ironic?
That the hurricane hit your house?
A pity that your storm shelter
Was built by Mickey Mouse
If life gives you lemons
You make lemonade
If like gives you oranges
You’ve overdone the spray-tan, again

Sally isn’t pretty but it isn’t such a pity, cos she’s happy
She is happy
Marco’s feeling lonely and he really misses home
But he is happy, yes he is happy

You met her on the internet
So much in common, it was meant to be
It was everything you wanted
Except, perhaps, that she’s a he
Because you’re quite old fashioned
You didn’t do it ‘til she was your bride
Your mail order companion
Gave you quite a big surprise
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, so it seems
If life gives you lady-boys
You learn to look before you leap

Barry thinks he fat but his mum’s alright with that
So he is happy that she is happy
Clare she wanted someone with long hair like Michael Bolton
So she’s happy, she is happy

Eat yourself happier
Drink yourself happier
Smoke yourself happier
...yourself happier

Six numbers on a Wednesday
You quit your job at Pizza Hut
A shame you didn’t notice
Your dog ‘Lucky’ chew the ticket up
You finished with your boyfriend
To wait around for a real go-getter
Now he’s really happy
Because he likes your sister better
If life gives you lemons
You make lemonade
If life gives you melons
You don’t have to make anything, if you don’t want to

Christine is fast asleep and it’s no secret that I’m deeply deeply happy
Because she’s happy, because she’s happy
Dave is in remission and he don’t need your permission to be happy
To be Happy
Track Name: Shadow Mary
I met a woman in a nasty hat
She could have moved in but she was allergic to cats
This is how it begins
We went to lunch and the cafe caught fire
It soon turned out that her only desire
Was for men who are made of laughing gas
So she can breathe them in
The same old thing with Shadow Mary

She had a history of too much biology
So her geography was pretty well known
There was no chemistry
She studied dentistry
Whoever she's with, she's always alone
The same old thing with Shadow Mary

She said, "When I was in driving school, I was a willing fool
For anyone who would give me novocaine"
She ate ice cream from a traffic cone
They quarantined the no-parking zone
She had a big mouth
And when it all went South, she seemed to fade away
The same old thing with Shadow Mary